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Viele Wege führen zum Glück
Unser Leben nach der „Pippi Langstrumpf“-Methode

Von Lisa Harmann. Lisa bloggt auf Stadt-Land-Mama – The urban-suburban mommytalk blog.

Was soll ich denn nur tun? In Ratgeber X steht das. Und in Ratgeber Y jenes. X und Y widersprechen sich, also geht diese mathematische Funktion nicht auf. Aber es geht doch um meine Kinder! Es muss doch einen Weg geben! Und ja, den gibt es: Auf mein Bauchgefühl zu hören. Auf meine Intuition.
Ich handle oft und viel aus dem Bauch heraus. In einem öffentlichen „Brief an die Politik“ schrieb ich einmal auf meinem Blog:

Liebe Politik,
es ist süß, wie Du Dich bemühst, uns das Kinderkriegen schmackhaft zu machen. Kindergeld, Elterngeld, Betreuungsgeld, Ausbau von Kitaplätzen. Aber weißt Du was? Kein Geld der Welt und keine Vereinbarkeitsmaßnahme könnte mich vom Kinderkriegen überzeugen. Denn alles, was Du tust, Politik, das kommt von außen. Äußere Einflüsse prägen uns, gewiss. Aber ich bekam schon als Kind stets eingebläut, dass nicht die äußeren Werte zählen, sondern die inneren. Das geht mir mit dem Kinderkriegen ganz genauso.
Ich finde toll, wie Eltern vom Staat unterstützt werden, aber es hat mich nicht in der Entscheidung für oder gegen Kinder beeinflusst. Ich habe Kinder gekriegt, weil ich Kinder kriegen wollte. Nicht, weil ich wusste, dass ich sie nach achteinhalb Monaten in die Krippe packen kann, nicht weil ich mich auf die Hundert-und-ein-paar-Gedrückte pro Monat freute, die mir das Kindergeld bescheren sollte. Überraschung! Es war eine Überzeugung von innen heraus. Ich habe mich für Kinder entschieden, weil mein Bauch mir gesagt hat, dass ich Kinder haben möchte. Mein Bauch, nicht mein Kopf. […]
Und sind die Kinder erst einmal da, geht es ja weiter mit den Empfehlungen von außen. Im Netz habe ich neulich mal wieder einen Text gelesen, in dem es heißt, nicht nur Tadeln schade dem Kind, sondern auch Loben. Denn Lob führe dazu, dass die Handlung nur dann vollzogen werde, wenn Lob zu erwarten sei. Sonst nicht. Die nächsten sagen, Lob sei ein Motivator, wieder andere sagen, es brauche Frühförderung, die anderen sagen, lasst die Kinder bitte Kinder sein.

Es ist zum schwindelig werden. Wäre da nicht unser Bauchgefühl! Auf das wir uns verlassen können. Das uns sagt, dass wir loben dürfen, wenn wir loben wollen. Und dass wir authentisch sein dürfen und auch mal schlechte Laune dazugehört. Ich reagiere anderes, wenn ich gute Laune habe und das dürfen die Kinder auch merken. Denn sie haben keine Maschine zur Mutter, sondern einen Menschen. Und Menschlichkeit ist etwas, das sich meine Kinder gern bei mir abschauen dürfen. Es gibt keine Gebrauchsanweisung.

Auch ich habe Grenzen. Aber ich habe auch ziemlich elastische, starke und lange Geduldsfäden. Unsere Kinder wachsen insofern ziemlich frei auf, als dass wir nicht viel Energie in Dinge stecken, die sie irgendwann eh von alleine ändern.
Ich sage nicht den ganzen Tag: „Es heißt “Ich möchte” und nicht “Ich will”“. Ich sage auch nicht “Wie heißt das Zauberwort?” Aber sie hören bei jeder möglichen Gelegenheit von mir ein Dankeschön und merken, dass der Metzger dann freundlich reagiert. Und natürlich wissen sie, dass die Straßenschuhe nicht auf den Couchtisch gehören, wenn noch Pferdeäpfel drunter kleben. Aber im Grunde denke ich auch: Spätestens wenn sie selbst putzen müssen, tun sie das eh nicht mehr. Dazu gibt es von mir auch schon mal einen Kommentar, aber im Grunde denke ich auch: Hier ist grad niemand in Gefahr, warum also aufregen.
Ich mache das so und finde auch sämtliche anderen Varianten okay, solange niemand zu Schaden kommt dabei. Ich bin kein Erziehungs-Missionar und will („möchte“) auch nie einer werden, indem ich propagiere, meine Methode sei die Beste. Ist sie nämlich nicht. Jedem passt eben ein anderer Schuh. Es gibt kein Richtig und kein Falsch. Wichtig ist, dass diejenigen, die daran beteiligt sind, sich damit wohlfühlen und darin für sich das praktikabelste Modell finden.
Mein eher geringes Eingreifen in die Machenschaften unserer Kinder bezeichnete ein Blog-Leser einmal als „Pippi-Langstrumpf“-Methode. Und das gefiel mir. Denn Pippi ist ein fröhliches Kind. Und das sollen meine Kinder auch sein. Aber es gibt eben nicht nur die eine Art, auf die sie glücklich werden können.

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  193. YouTube is world’s biggest video sharing site, no one can defeat it. Every one add video tutorials at YouTube after that take embed code and post everywhere.